Love First, Lead Second — And Don’t Forget the Leftovers

Let’s be honest when we hear the word “leadership,” it’s easy to picture someone standing at the front, giving orders, or maybe even keeping the best snacks for themselves. But servant leadership is a whole different story. It’s about putting others first, building real relationships, and helping everyone grow. In many ways, it feels a lot like parenting. You can’t lead well if you don’t genuinely know or care about the people you’re leading. (And trust me, bribing people with pizza only works for so long.)

At Mavuno Church, we spent February reflecting on God’s endless grace and love—a love so patient and so compassionate. It made me realize how quick I am to get frustrated over small things. Like when my roommate ate the last box lunch. I had every right to be upset, but then I thought about how many times I’ve hurt God’s heart. Yet, He still takes me back with open arms every time. That kind of grace is humbling.

“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32

Servant leadership is built on essential values like empathy, humility, empowerment, and grace. Empathy allows us to truly understand where others are coming from, building trust through listening and meaningful connection. Listen. Laugh. Cry. (Maybe all at once.) Humility keeps us grounded, reminding us that leadership is about lifting others up, not seeking the spotlight. Empowerment shifts the focus from collecting followers to raising new leaders, teaching others to thrive and continue the work long after we’re gone. And then there’s grace—the cornerstone that holds it all together. People will fail; we will fail. But showing grace reflects God’s heart and strengthens relationships in ways that rules never could.

When servant leadership is done well, it feels like family, a slightly messy but deeply loving family. People feel valued for who they are, not just for what they do. It mirrors the early church in Acts, where believers supported each other with sincerity and love.

“Whoever wants to be great among you must be your servant.”  Matthew 20:26

At the end of the day, servant leadership is about walking alongside others, growing together, and reflecting Christ’s heart. It’s how we fulfill the Great Commission… and maybe keep a backup lunch in the fridge just in case.